The Other 6 Days
As the church, we spend most of our thought, time and effort working towards our weekend gatherings; with the majority of our lives being lived outside of Sundays. The Other 6 Days Podcast is designed to help us be more intentional about the ways we can "show up" for the gospel the other 6 days of the week.
The Other 6 Days
Overcoming: Strength In Weakness with Jay Hewitt | The Other 6 Days | Episode 61
In this episode of the podcast, we continue back in our "Overcoming" series with another powerful & personal story. Our guest is Jay Hewitt—husband, father, pastor, speaker, author, and Ironman triathlete—shares his incredible journey of faith and perseverance following a life-changing brain cancer diagnosis. Jay invites us into his story with vulnerability and wisdom, showing how he continues to pursue a Christ-honoring life in the face of adversity. His story is a reminder that our weakness is often the greatest display of God's strength.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Other Six Days podcast, where we talk about life outside of Sundays and what it means to live from our gatherings, and not just for them. I'm your host, cj McFadden, and today we're joined by a very special guest, jay Hewitt. Jay is a husband, father, author, speaker and athlete. He currently serves as the church revitalization director at Friends Church in Orange County, california. I followed Jay's story for years and have been personally encouraged by his faith, strength and authenticity. He's a gifted communicator who leverages his life and influence for kingdom building, and I'm so excited for you to hear his story today. So, jay, welcome to the podcast. Thanks, cj Stoked, to be here. Yeah, I appreciate it. Well. So you know, we've run in similar circles before communication, online spaces, church leadership and I think we crossed paths for the first time at North Coast Church maybe 2022, maybe a little earlier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when we were all trying to figure out, coming out of the pandemic, what we'd be doing as a church?
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, I know you had some great insights and knowledge in that space, and so I was just so appreciative to have the opportunity to glean from you guys and a bunch of other really smart people. It was a good time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, and I remember some of those ideas that we talked about totally failed. They seemed like great ideas to start with, and then you know, it's back to pivoting and figuring out what's next, isn't that the space, though Like it's so funny that you say that.
Speaker 1:I was just thinking that I'm like I wasn't gonna say some of them. They didn't quite make it, but they were great at the time. So before we dive into a little bit of your journey, let's talk about some of your backstory maybe. So just kind of catch us up to bring us up to speed.
Speaker 2:Hobbies, passions, family, like who is a professor of literature, shakespearean literature is her focus. She's a dean, she's a smarty and runs circles around me. And then we have one young daughter, hero, who is now 10 years old. You know, they always tell you it goes by in a blink and it does.
Speaker 2:I can't believe she's 10, as I said that out loud she was uh yeah, over at middle school, dropped her off this morning and so it's the three of us. And, um, yeah, but called to ministry when I was in high school. I became a Christian in high school and then, shortly after, I was like, yeah, I want to do this, can I? Will somebody get paid? And you know what? Yeah, 25 years later, I'm still in ministry. It looks very different. The calling is always the same, but the assignment keeps changing, and it's changed pretty rapidly for me in these past 10 years.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'd say, Wow, I like that the calling remains the same, but the assignment changes. Wow, that's really good. The calling remains the same but the assignment changes. Wow, that's really good, I might steal that one so well. So prior to and we'll get into this and people probably see it from the title but prior to your diagnosis, what did the direction or trajectory of your life look like for you guys? You know, like original ideas, dreams, aspirations for you, you know kind of coming into ministry and out of high school and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I was in student ministries for about a decade and I thought I was going to be a lifer. You know, I thought I want to be a veteran in this space. Adolescence is so important in spiritual development. I thought this is something I can really dedicate my life to.
Speaker 2:And then my lead pastor, matthew Court, came to me and said, hey, we haven't planted any churches in a long time. We need to get back to that and we want you to be number one. And I thought, no, I don't want to do that. I've seen all the complaints that come his way. Being a lead pastor, I don't want that. So I told him no, and he told me to pray about it. And I did.
Speaker 2:And next thing, you know, both Natalie and I felt a call to church planting and we planted a new church in the city of Orange, right in the heart of Orange County, and it was awesome. I had no idea how much I would enjoy it, because a lot of church planters they told me they said, oh, it's so lonely and everybody leaves you. But that wasn't our experience. It was a really beautiful thing. And, um, the church was growing and things were going right and we were really praying through. Can we be a hub that we just keep planting churches out of this church and so that's kind of that's where I was when I got hit with that diagnosis.
Speaker 1:Oh man, wow and um, so did you guys have? Uh, like you had great community. Obviously the church was thriving and I mean you were doing a lot. So you guys were kind of innovative, I'd say, in the church, online space, a lot with digital arts, all kinds of stuff, right, so you were trying a bunch of new things.
Speaker 2:I remember from that time work into what happens inside of our building. We need to we need to be smart about how we can take what we're doing in here and taking it and exporting it so that people we can reach more people and we're more accessible and things like that. So, yeah, we were, we were experimenting and, like we talked about, some of them work, some of them didn't Um, but it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:I love hearing that. I love hearing that that was such a fun time for you guys Cause, like you said, so many church plant pastors like it's lonely, it's tough, it's hard and is it worth it, you know, and so that's such a sweet story to hear coming out of that. That's pretty cool, um, so we'll now let's talk about those words um, terminal brain cancer. So, uh, what had happened and what did those moments, thoughts and conversations at that time look like? Like that's a big piece of your story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was leading leading a church, just doing life. We were just minding our own business and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I had a seizure and I didn't know what hit me. But I went to my doctor. He sent me to a neurologist, who sent me to a radiologist, who sent me up to San Francisco to a neurosurgeon because it turned out I had a ping pong size tumor in the center of my brain and they weren't sure if it was cancerous at that point, but they knew they needed to get it out. So I had to go through this really high risk surgery. They kept me awake for it, which was nuts, but that's for another time.
Speaker 2:But the surgery was really successful. It was very clear. God's hand was on the hand of my surgeon and even though it was in a really high risk area, they were able to get the whole tumor and I came out with no cognitive deficiencies and so, praise God, incredible. And then they tested the tumor and then I'm sitting in a neuro-oncologist's office next to Natalie and the doctor says those words you know, you have cancer. And Natalie, she started kind of softly crying and I just put my hand on her knee to say it's going to be okay.
Speaker 2:But then the doctor jumped back in and told us it's not going to be okay. This has no cure, this is terminal, and she wanted to be very clear about that. I want you to know right from the start there is no cure for this. And they give us a prognosis of you know many, many years. We're going to be cut off of my life. And that just hit me right in the gut. And it's life, and you got to deal with it. You got to figure out am I going to get back up? What am I going to do? How do I go forward from here? But everything changed in an instant.
Speaker 1:Everything changed yeah, but everything changed in an instant. Everything changed, wow. I'd say, wow, that's huge. Yeah, that's um man, yeah, to get that I, that, that's um, I, you appreciate it, maybe not at the time, but the clarity that, uh, that the doctor offered at that time, you know, to at least give you a, you know, solid prognosis so you could kind of like begin whatever that processing looked like yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2:I love my neuro-oncologist, but my nickname for her is Dr Bad News Bush, because, man, she's got a great bedside manner. She's awesome. She's so kind and compassionate, but at the same time she tells it to me straight, which is how I want it. You know, there's some doctors I've had friends that tell me about their experience that are walking through something similar and different doctors handle it differently, and it's probably good for different types of personality, but for me to have somebody that's straightforward, I need that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'd say the same, I'd love. I'm just saying lay it on me so I can start to make choices as we move forward that are, you know, more definitive. Wow, well, so what are a few of the things that held, that you held onto during, like those, that difficult moment, like with Natalie, and, like you know, promises, people, like the hope that you have was like. What did that look like in those moments?
Speaker 2:You know, I was so confused just utterly confused because it didn't make sense to me, like no, I never. I never expected an easy life, like I knew, okay, if I'm going to, even as a high schooler when I put my faith into Jesus and I'm like I'm going to follow a guy that's known for suffering, if I'm going to follow in his footstep, there's probably going to be some suffering ahead, you know so.
Speaker 2:I wasn't caught by surprise that I'd have to go through something difficult. But I was caught by surprise because, lord, why would you call me to plant this church and why would you bless it? And it's growing and these wonderful things? God, why would? Even more important, why would you bless me with a child knowing this is coming. This makes no sense. And so, you know, I just kind of reflexively turned to prayer. It wasn't like an angelic moment. I was pretty upset, I was hot, you know.
Speaker 1:I remember.
Speaker 2:I was at Dunkin' Donuts. I was at Dunkin' Donuts because saturated fat is needed sometimes, in those moments, and I'm sitting in the parking lot of my car with a maple bar and I'm eating my maple bar and I just turned to God and I say what are you?
Speaker 1:doing.
Speaker 2:What are you doing? I asked him and him and he answered. I wasn't expecting him to actually answer and it wasn't one of these like audible moments, but it's like jesus says you know about the holy spirit. He'll remind you of the things that jesus taught. And my heart was taken to second corinthians, chapter 12, verses 9 and 10, and this was a passage that I i't necessarily have memorized, but it just came through so clear to me. It's the passage where Paul has a thorn in his side. He prays three times, which means prayed it through and through for it to be taken away, and basically the spirit of Jesus says no.
Speaker 2:And then he goes on and says my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness. So Paul hears those words and his conclusion then in verse 10, is well then, if God's power is perfected in my weakness, when I'm weak I'm actually strong. And so that is exactly what happened to my soul. I was convinced of that Once I heard the scripture and I felt a true sense of the Holy Spirit is saying to me Jay, my grace is sufficient for you and my power is about to be perfected in your weakness. My soul said okay, well then, although I'm facing my weakest moment right now, I'm actually strong, and even though my prayer and my time with God in that moment it didn't change the circumstance at all, it did satisfy my soul because really, what was going on is I was confused and now I got some clarity. And so I drove home from Dunkin' Donuts with some satisfaction and I prayed my next prayer, which was very pivotal.
Speaker 2:Wow, he set this out. I learned it in college and, as a pastor, I pray it all the time. I was just used to praying this way and I never thought of it in a moment of crisis. But, man, it worked perfectly. Of all right, god, what are you doing? And now, how can I join you?
Speaker 2:And so when I went home, by the time I arrived at my house, I had this idea, and I'm not gonna say the Lord spoke to me and said do this, because it's a little too crazy for that. But I will looking back. I will say that the Holy Spirit gave me a little nudge. So I had this idea what if, during my weakest moment, I try something that I would never think I could do, even at my strongest? I thought what if I prove this scripture by doing, attempting to do an Ironman, while going through cancer treatment, so like as I'm recovering from my second brain surgery, and going into radiation and chemotherapy? What if, during that time, I trained for an Ironman and while I'm still going through all of these things, actually make the attempt to complete an Ironman triathlon, which, if you know for those that are watching or listening, if you're not familiar with it, I wasn't either, much at that point, so don't worry, but I now, I now know quite well that in Ironman it's you uh, you swim, and then you bike and you run.
Speaker 2:It's a triathlon and it's a. It's a long distance triathlon, so it's in total 140 miles and you have to complete it in under 17 hours. So you're racing basically all day, um, you're swimming, biking or running and it's pretty grueling, and so, anyway, I had a thought of what if I do this, and it seemed crazy. I knew it was crazy, I was like that's crazy, but at the same time, god opened my eyes when I had that idea of the opportunity that I had, Because I was so confused. Lord, why would you bless me with a daughter who, at this time, was four years old, just to take me away from my family? Let's not get into the theology of that at this point, right now but, what are you doing?
Speaker 2:And all of a sudden I realized I have an opportunity. All of us want to say to our kids and we do as Christian parents, we say to our kids to say to our kids and we do as Christian parents, we say to our kids, anything is possible With God, anything is possible when Christ strengthens you. You can do all things and so go after your dreams. And, yada, yada, we give them the speech. But I realized in this circumstance I had the opportunity not to just tell her these things, but I could show her, wow, I could show her what it looks like to have resilient faith and to live a resilient life. And I thought, wow, that's something special and yeah. So at that point, when the Lord kind of showed me that opportunity, I started to think this could be a good idea.
Speaker 1:Wow, well, thanks for sharing, first of all. But man, a maple bar and Dunkin' Donuts, two of this profound encounter with God that you know allows you to participate in trusting him, to you know, showcase some things through your life, to your daughter, for all the I mean, that's pretty, pretty amazing. So, wow, so, wow, um, yeah, how did what would you say? How would you say that some of these, this diagnosis, like this, this journey for you, has helped shape your life both practically and spiritually, like like throughout this iron man journey and all these things, like, where are you at right now?
Speaker 2:you know it. Um, it was tremendous for my soul. Um, because I I got to. I got to test and see that the Lord is good. I got to because I didn't walk away, because I turned to him. I got to experience his grace and I still am experiencing his sustaining grace to bring me through both cancer treatment and just daily life as somebody facing a terminal illness. And then also got to.
Speaker 2:I got to experience that on a physical level. It was a metaphor, but also very physical, to having to get up to because I would. What I would do is I'd go in for radiation and chemotherapy treatment and then I would go run, afterwards, I'd go swim, afterwards I go cycle, so so I'm at my weakest, where every day my head's hurting more, I'm feeling more nauseous, I'd go swim, afterwards I'd go cycle. So I'm at my weakest, where every day my head's hurting more, I'm feeling more nauseous, I'm more fatigued, and I would have to pray for strength Lord, give me your strength. And then I would go and try and complete what was on my training regimen for the day, and so I got to see him provide in a very real, tangible way his strength.
Speaker 2:Now, I knew from the get-go this is more than just like a physical. You know it's on a spiritual level that God's working. But as I got to see it on the physical and my daughter and my family and my friends and my church got to see this on display, really God's strength through my weakness was on display. It made me just in awe of God. So here I am. I could be blaming God and so angry with him and I've had moments like that. But in this instead, somehow it brings me closer to him and I've never felt so loved by God, I've never felt so loved by his people and I'm just like in awe and I'm more in love with Jesus since having to really travel through some tough stuff, than if I were just cruising through life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, watching from a distance, like you kind of do this journey and you know a lot of these pieces I didn't even know when we first met and just watching you go through that and then, um, but seeing the joy that you exude through your social posts and, like you know, just watching you even step into the physicality of the Ironman and all the things that that would entail, especially through you know all of the therapies that you were going through, I mean like, and you know that being active is good for you and being physical but doing an Ironman while you're going through those, that's like a whole, nother level. So right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, just as I didn't quite know what an Ironman was I don't think my doctors did either, because I asked them. I asked them hey, is this okay?
Speaker 1:And they said yeah, that's great.
Speaker 2:It's so good to exercise while you're going through this, but I don't think any of us really realized just how intense this was going to be. But you know, you bring up joy and that's so key because the night of my race I asked the Lord for strength and he gave me a scripture. He gave me Nehemiah 8.10, another scripture that I did not have memorized, but it just came through the Holy Spirit, the joy of the Lord is your strength. And you know it's funny because as I was going through this, you know that phrase choose joy. Yep, I tried it and it didn't work.
Speaker 2:Early on, I was like okay, I'm going to choose joy and as I try and choose it, it just it didn't work. It's fleeting. Now, you know, there's a lot of books written on it, there's a lot of good stuff around choosing joy. I don't want to knock all of it, but for me, facing something so, so difficult, it just wasn't that easy. Yeah, but what I, what I found'm going to give thanks to the Lord. I'm supposed to rejoice in suffering, whether that's walking through life with brain surgery or it's. I'm 120 miles into this race and I still have 20 to go and you know, my stomach is turning on me and there's no way I'm gonna finish it. I'm still gonna rejoice and give thanks and, honestly, as I continued to give thanks, I could feel strength. I could feel strength so much so that I just did another triathlon, not an Ironman, but just like.
Speaker 2:A couple of weeks ago I did an Olympic distance triathlon, which is about a quarter of the distance of an Ironman, and I was grumpy. I was grumpy coming in. Something happened where my plane got delayed and I was just behind in everything and I couldn't get out of that negative headspace. And I am telling you it was harder to complete the Olympic distance triathlon than the full distance Ironman, because I wasn't. I wasn't energized by the joy of the Lord as I was before and at the end, you know, a struggle fest, my wife's, like you, don't look so good and I just thought you know everything that I wrote in my book I did not put into practice and I suffered from it.
Speaker 1:Oh, you missed out. Yeah, that gratitude piece was just missing. You're like, how am I to be joyful in this moment? Oh, that's tough. Well, speak to that. So all of the you know, obviously, this whole journey, this whole process, everything you've been going through, led you to a point where you decided to write a book. Tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker 2:You know. So after I completed Ironman and I got some recognition from it, you know I was on ESPN and a lot of like daytime shows, because it was during the pandemic, where people just needed hope and they needed like something to uplift them. So this guy who you know has a terminal illness but still can actually cross the finish line. It was a moment, and so I had an author called me, an author speaker that I'd never met before. He's like hey, can we talk? And he called me and he goes hey, you need to write a book. And I said I don't want to write a book. I didn't get into this, for this is for my daughter, right? I don't want to write a book. He said you got to write a book.
Speaker 2:I said why? He said, listen, your story is going to take you outside of the church into corporate settings, and there's going to be people that really click with what you're saying and they're the ones that are going to come back and they're going to buy the book. And he said in corporate settings you're going all Jesus. And I thought you know, okay, I'll do it. And so I started writing, and I didn't have a publishing deal yet or anything like that. I just started writing and it was so good for my soul. It was so good for my soul so, as I would write, it's like the Lord was ministering to my soul and helping me to take the physical thing that I did and attach it to the spiritual realities that were really happening. And so I just gleaned so much spiritual growth through the act of writing, so it was so good for my heart and my life.
Speaker 2:And then here I am speaking in corporate settings often, and, just like that author said to me that this is what's happening, I'm being invited into placesent Financial and next week I go to Houston to speak to a bunch of pharmacists in the US's largest pharmacy convention. All these things that I would never have thought or dreamed, wow. But I get to bring in the hope of Jesus, yep, and I'm telling you people that come back, they buy the book. We keep in contact and I've seen just God's done some amazing work through it and getting diagnosed with cancer. I thought it was going to be a ministry ender for me. I'm not leading the church that I planted, so in a way it kind of is. But it's also accelerated my ministry and the effectiveness of my ministry, whether I'm sitting with someone who's going through something difficult and the empathy and the sympathy that can be shared in that moment, or if I'm going into a space that I normally wouldn't be in. It's good. It's good.
Speaker 1:I love that. You said that I think that's where a lot of people go is. You know, you think about the, you know the ending components and you know what that might look like and all that and kind of play it out. And you said this isn't a ministry ender. I look like this is just an it's augmented ministry. It's a different ministry path than what you had originally had planned. But man, looking at God's hand and favor in it all, it's just what a beautiful story. Man, wow, what would you say? Is there anything that you could speak to? As far as you know and just how you know a lot of our listeners, you know part of our church body and stuff like current prognosis, how it could be. You know praying for you and your family and just you know journeying with you guys through it. You know what would you say to that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Um, so you can. You can keep up with me, uh, through my newsletter at jhewittorg or online.
Speaker 1:I'm I'm mostly on Instagram because I'm a 44 year old. Yeah, yeah, gen Xer. Yeah, that's where we're at, not TikTok, yeah.
Speaker 2:Uh, but uh, for for today, um, my, my disease has progressed. I am now at the most uh, aggressive uh grade that I can be at, so I'm a grade four, Um, and that comes with a uh, a really difficult prognosis. And yet the Lord keeps sustaining me and he keeps giving me opportunities for ministry and opportunities to to love my family and opportunities to grow in Christ and life is good. Oh, it's good, life is good, and I think sometimes people need to hear that, that from somebody who has terminal brain cancer I can say life is good, and I mean it. It's hard. Everybody's life is hard. Right, my heart and your heart are not the same thing, but heart is hard and we can do hard things, especially with Christ strengthening us and the body of believers around us carrying our burdens, and so, um, yeah, I have hard days, but but life overall is really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that, and it's clear as to why you can say life is good. So, wow, thank you for sharing that, jay. So, uh, any other exciting things that are next on the horizon for the Hewitt family in the, you know, in the short term? I know you're going to speak to a bunch of pharmacists, so that's exciting. That's a cool opportunity, dude, how fun, I mean. Yeah, who would have thought that your ministry trajectory brought you here where you're?
Speaker 2:at, but the exciting things are being with family, and I have to. Every step of the way. What I try and do is I try and make peace with what the medical community says, because, as a man of faith, I don't want to hide in my faith and go into denial and go like no God's going to heal me. God's going to heal me, he might, he might, he might. But first I really have to face it and I have to find the courage to face it and make peace with okay, this is, this is what what the medical community says. But I never, I never lose hold of hope, right, and? And so I've got to live my life in a way where I go okay, you know, this could be the last, or I could have a lot more right, and there's this cliche that I've I've adopted and it's worked beautifully, and usually cliches don't, but this one has, and, uh, it's.
Speaker 2:It's a quote that's attributed to a lot of different people, which means it didn't come from anybody famous, um, but the the quote is this live like you'll die tomorrow, dream like you'll live forever. Yeah, and that's worked for me. So I keep going after my dreams that God places on my heart, but I try and make the most out of every day and don't get caught up in the things that don't matter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, absolutely. What a great word. Well, man, that'll be. We'll continue to hold on, to hope, through prayer for you, that God will continue to do the work, that, through prayer for you, that God will continue to do, you know, the work that he's called you to according to his purpose, and that he'll you know what he finished, what he started he'll finish, and so we're excited to be able to journey with you in that through prayer. And then, if you guys want to follow, it's always our hope here that our conversations are helpful and hopeful, and so you can follow jhewittittorg, we'll put all of this stuff inside of the show notes, some links and stuff. Also, your book I am. I am weak, I am strong. That's the name of it. Right, correct, that's it. I downloaded on audible so I don't recognize the title.
Speaker 2:So I'm an audible guy, you get to hear my lovely voice.
Speaker 1:I did. It was awesome. I love it was actually very soothing. I love the way that you I mean you, you can just you know. Anyway, it was, it was great it was, it was a fun listen. Um, I maybe not a fun listen, it was a great listen, so, um, but it's hopeful though, right, Hopeful.
Speaker 2:Let me like like when you think this story it seems so bleak, but man God just keeps bringing hope and joy and all the power that it takes to be resilient, and it's been a masterclass for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very powerful. You can follow Jay on Instagram, so we'll include all this stuff in there and then we'll include an Ironman official site If you link as well. If you guys decide you end up wanting to try to do an Ironman yourself and find out what Jay went through, so let's go, we'll see how that goes. Yeah For you. Anyway, any final thoughts, comments or encouragements? Jay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want people to know that they're not powerless. You're not powerless. The obstacles that you're facing right now, they may be out of your control and there are things that you can't change anything about, these terrible obstacles in your way. But you're not powerless because God is working for your good. In all things, in every obstacle, god is working for your good and that means in every obstacle there's an opportunity, and that's where your choice is. You may have no control over the obstacle, but you do have a choice. You do have control over how you'll respond to that opportunity. And if you can find the courage to go after the opportunity that God has placed in front of you, I promise you he will give you the strength that it takes to get up, to stay strong and press on, and just like I got to see and my got to see and the world through this story, all things are possible with God, especially when Christ is strengthening us, and I know that can be true in everyone's life.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, that's great. Well, thanks, jay. We appreciate you allowing us the opportunity to share in your journey and your strength, honesty and, of course, joy in the midst of these struggle points. They all point straight to Jesus, and so it's truly inspiring. So we appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Oh, thanks man, Thanks for having me on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. Well, there you have it, guys. Thanks for joining us on another episode of the Other Six Days podcast. Be sure to hit that subscribe, follow, share and like and, as always, spread the word and take what you heard and turn it into something that you can do to.