The Other 6 Days

Becoming Single-Minded | The Other 6 Days | Episode 60

• Southwest Church • Season 3 • Episode 60

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In this episode, Pastor Ricky helps tackle a biblical vision for the topic of singleness & the Church. We unpack the pro's & con's as well as practical do's and don'ts for those both unmarried & married alike.  

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Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Other Six Days podcast, where we chat about life outside of Sundays and what it means to live from our gatherings, and not just for them. I'm your host, cj McFadden, and in this episode we're joined by Pastor Ricky Jenkins to talk about the topic of singleness, why it matters, what the Bible has to say about it and how we can all show up well, with clarity, charity and wisdom for everyone. So, ricky, we want to start this one off. I think the most apropos way would be to share a story that stands out from when you were single Something encouraging, helpful, maybe humorous.

Speaker 2:

I have nothing encouraging.

Speaker 1:

I thought humorous is probably better.

Speaker 2:

So this is like my standout single story. And I was, I'm 48, so now I'm probably 30, 31, something like that. So I'm, I'm a one of the pastors of this church down in Memphis great church, and they had brought me on the elder board, right so. But I'm single. So I'm a single young preaching elder at this church. Well, obviously all the other elders are married.

Speaker 2:

We go to elder retreat in Montana, big old ranch, and it's just a good time. Well, one of the elders wives was battling cancer and so we just had food and fun and fellowship all weekend. And then the last thing is just hey, how can we be praying for you over the next year? So we pray for everybody. Well, this elder's wife and me are last and she says, hey, just pray, because I'm battling cancer. And I'm just like, yeah, just pray, I want to be for the lord. You know, something very generic is what I said. Well, they said, hey, let's, let's all put two chairs in the middle of the circle and let's just lay hands. Let's just call this gal sally. Let's lay hands on sally and ricky Sally for her cancer and Ricky because he's single. So they put my singleness with her cancer. So like what was the message? Is something wrong? Oh with me, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2:

So that's my single story. What about you? Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Mine was. I've got a bunch of them, so we all know. I'm pretty. I was pretty awkward growing up. I mean, who are we kidding? I still am, but um but this works for you. It works for you, Uh but one of them sticks out for sure. Um, there was a girl. I was at a Southwest uh youth group event when I was younger. So I was in high school.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

And um but uh, they had brought down some snow from Idyllwild in the back of a truck and so they had like a little snowball fight kind of thing going on. And I rode my bike over there and was like, oh, this will be awesome.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

So, anyway, there's this girl that I liked in high school and we hadn't really, like you know, talked or anything or connected, but she was there. And so she picks up some snow and she comes over and she throws it at me and I'm like'm like, oh, this is it. I'm gonna throw, like you know, cute little snowball or something. I whip that snowball. Well, the soft snow sheds off the outside and out comes a log of ice, oh, just flying at her when she turns around, it hits her square in the eye and then she just lays out on the grass like wet noodle and I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm like, and everyone's like, they just gasped, dude. I jumped on my bike and took off. I didn't know what to do. So, yeah, I saw her the next day at school and she had a black eye and all of her friends were just looking at me like cj did that and I was like so ashamed.

Speaker 1:

I was like, oh, I just wanted to pretend like nothing, like ever happened, and that it would just go away, but yeah yeah, so that was one of many many stories. Okay, yeah, yeah, so that was one of many many stories. Okay, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2:

Mine was good, yours was better, I wouldn't say better. That was a rough high school years for me.

Speaker 1:

Yes, absolutely so. Yeah, with our conversation today on singleness, Ricky, before we get biblical or even practical, I think it might be helpful to start off by orienting our audience to some unique considerations around the topic of single singleness, like why it matters, the realities, you know, stats, all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, like well, um, most of our church is single, yeah, Most of our church. And so I think the the the thing I want to submit to like anybody who's in leadership, whether in business community government church leadership, whether in business community government church you better start thinking the way single people think if you want to be successful in whatever it is you're trying to do. And I'm telling all my pastor buddies that it's a single world and you better not administer to them. And so you know, when you think about this, statistically, 40% of adult population in America is single. In 20 years, 60% of the adult population will be single.

Speaker 2:

It's a single world and yet it's more often than not kind of tilted towards a framework of couples or marriage and all that kind of stuff. And if you're not careful, man, sometimes your good can be evil, spoken of, because you're just literally leaving a whole demographic and in our church, most of our church's perspectives and experiences and, you know, kind of framework not worldview but framework of how they do life is, from a single perspective, miss, I think, what God wants us to do. So I think it's a single world and it's going to become even more of one. What does that mean for your leadership, what does that mean for how you connect to your friends? What does that mean for how you do business? So that's why we're talking about this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. And uh, you know, and then obviously, even within that there's diversity in single singleness, right, Absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think, I think, I think the church is the worst. Sometimes, when we say singles in church, we really kind of you know, some of us kind of picture in our minds the 22 year old dude that just got left the frat house who was playing beer pong.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know what I mean. He has a T-shirt on I'm single and ready to mingle.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know what I mean, but that's not like there's all kinds of diversity within singleness. So like to be single from a 20 year old is a whole nother planet from being single at 30. To be single at 30 is a whole nother solar system from being single at 40, and so on and so forth. To be single at 40 is two different universes from being single at like 60 and 70. It's just totally different experience. Some singles have been married, some singles have never been married, some singles have been married twice, Some singles never been, you know. So it's like some singles are rich and poor and all the other things, but like to to, to, to to what happens even for churches that think about singles. They only think about them from one perspective. You know what I mean. So look at all the young people together.

Speaker 2:

Look at all the 22 year olds that know. Singles is everybody. You know what I mean. They're everywhere as right, rightly, that they should be.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, well, and what they require, what they need, what they're looking for, priorities, all that, I mean, that's just, you know, just as diverse, so uh, yeah that's. That's a good word for the church, for sure. Um, and then, uh, also, too, we have, like, our current cultural moment considerations. You know, like, um, just a lot of what's going on around the idea of, like, why people are staying single. You know what.

Speaker 2:

I mean.

Speaker 1:

And all of those different realms like we talked about a little bit. But you know the tribe before you buy culture kind of.

Speaker 2:

you know cohabitation stuff a little bit there, and so there's some people who are a little bit more tentative and actually choosing to stay single longer because of some of the stuff that's going on Right, yeah, yeah, I think, I think, and I don't want to pit it, because there's nothing wrong with being single.

Speaker 2:

It's just as godly to be single as it is to be married. But for those who could see themselves being married or are thinking about it but are putting it off, the culture incentivizes selfishness. Marriage came to kill it. Yeah, kill it. So if you're one who's kind of subjected to a world that I have it your way world, and then to your point kind of the cultural moment where you know casual sex and you know cohabitation and you know what mama used to say I got the, I'm getting the milk for free. Why do I have to buy the cow? So commitment is not incentivizing the culture anymore and just kind of the the. The argument now is guys, namely, are moving away from commitment.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean? We're just commitment phobes.

Speaker 2:

I think our young teens are predisposed to not be emotionally connected, and so we're seeing our young guys have less interaction with the opposite sex. It's interesting Gen Z and I champion them for this, but Gen Z doesn't have hardly any interaction across the bowels. So, like you, look at the levels of sex that that generation is having. Romantic interaction, connection, the social media moment, the technology moment, means I can't come up to you and have to ask you for your phone number, but I can snap you or I can TikTok you or I can DM you, and so everything's made it that much more awkward and pressure for people to interact and connect with one another. So there's all sorts of variables out there, but the point is this it's just getting harder to be a Christ follower who's single, who desires to be connected or have a spouse on some level someday, and so I think there's all the other tropes to try before you buy it later, if at all.

Speaker 2:

All the good things Right, digital dating, fatigue you know what I mean. Like people are crazy, so it's just harder to connect in ways that we use. Think about this from a parenting perspective. Right, you and me grew up climbing trees, sometimes biking five miles away from our home as long as we were home by the time the light come on.

Speaker 2:

I wouldn't let my son go around the corner without me, because the world is a different place. And so because of that connection and how we connect and the access to connection, bro, it's just different world out there so it's hard on singles.

Speaker 1:

It's really hard. I love that Cause. All of this, I yeah, I love that you're kind of opening that up to get us to not to have such a narrow view of what single is and, you know, kind of espousing the diversity that's in it because of various reasons, right, and so, uh, you know, some of them just because of the current cultural moment, and then others of them, you know, and we'll get into it a little bit, but you know people who have chose to be single and then others who desire to be married.

Speaker 1:

So so you know we're being sensitive to all these things, so um. So I think this, this conversation, probably serves us best if we start from a biblical understanding of God's vision for singleness before we get into some of the practical approaches, right, yeah?

Speaker 2:

I think that I do think the church has lost out on this one. Um, and I don't think it's talked about enough. I'm guilty of that too, cj, but like, think about this from a biblical perspective. John the Baptist was single. Yep, um, couple of the prophets? Uh, couple of the prophets? We pretty sure Elijah was single. We think a light show was single.

Speaker 2:

The apostle Paul was probably married before, but in his ministry he was single. Jesus Christ was single. So God doesn't have a disdain or towards single people, nor does he have a problem using them and making them content without a spouse. And so the old saying used to say this if you ain't happy without a spouse, you ain't gonna be happy with one. If you're not complete without a spouse, you're not going to be complete with one. And so the gospel is what completes you, not another human being. And so I like what I think Paul David Tripp said this when he said that God invented marriage to show the world Christ's love for the church.

Speaker 2:

But God invented singleness to show the world the church's love for God. And in first Corinthians seven we see that kind of laid out. Paul is basically saying hey, everybody's got their own gift and their own season of what they're called to. Some of y'all call to be, he says, eunuchs. Some of y'all call to be singles for now or singles forever. Some of y'all call to be married. If you're married, stay married. If you're single, stay single. Why? Because God is happy with both.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And so I just want to encourage some single folks who are listening to this and I want to kind of chastise some married folks who are listening to this. If, if you know, like uncle Phil, the weird 70 year old who's at Thanksgiving, who's never been married but loves God and is faithful in his church, nowhere in the heavens is God saying, oh man, that Phil missed out. It's just not. That's not what God is thinking, but that's what we think. We feel so sorry for Phil. Let me tell you something about Phil. Phil is 70, loves Jesus, serving in his church, got plenty of money Ain't nobody took his money, you know what I'm saying and he got good health. He lost. Phil is thin because ain't no kids pulling on him and he's working for the Lord. So my point is is that we need to make sure that our perspective of marriage and singleness is God's perspective of marriage and singles and we are unfairly like forcing singles towards this thing that we have as if it's better.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And according to scripture, it's just not. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, so you get to be you?

Speaker 1:

No, absolutely. Yeah, I think, like man, you said it so well, we're definitely we. We project even some of our assumptions about what someone else might be experiencing or encountering, or you know where they're at, and again the whole idea that somehow you're completed or fully fulfilled by being married, you know and our worth isn't rooted, and not in the marital status, but in our creational status.

Speaker 2:

Amen, amen, you know, imago Dei.

Speaker 1:

So um and you you, you've said it before. You said uh I. You know adultery is taking something uh from or adding something to Jesus. I heard you say that before and um you know you perpetuate that lie by undermining the value of singleness Right.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely yeah, I think when I think it is subtle, right Like we, you know, especially in the church, we don't mean to.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we mean really really well yeah.

Speaker 2:

But you mar the image that's on that person's soul, right, like it's like saying well, let me put it this way, biblically speaking, when we there's two institutions on earth marriage and singleness when we get to heaven, one of them will be done away with forever.

Speaker 2:

So when we get to a perfect place, marriage doesn't fit. That's how sweet singleness is, that we're going to spend the rest of our eternity being single. So April will not be my wife in heaven, she'll be my sister, she'll be my friend right, and it will be better than what we have together now. And so so think about this singles, god loving God fear are showing us something about the wonder and enoughness of Jesus that we're practicing today. That Jesus will perfect later. So, theologically, be careful when you start to show that disdain or chart, start to treat your single friend, single loved one, single kid as if they're missing something. Now, if God wants them to be married, god wants them to be married, and if we want to support that and we want to equip them for that, but if God's not, that's okay, that is not a loss to God.

Speaker 1:

So you know, one that really, uh, you know, and I'm guilty of this One thing that really challenged me here practically in the present, was the idea of me wrestling with, like, someone with the same sex attraction.

Speaker 2:

Sure.

Speaker 1:

So that one really like struck me, because I was like you know, I had to wrestle with all the implications of what you do for someone that might choose a celibate life and a life that they've submit to God.

Speaker 2:

And so I thought wow, the things that I project, that I think that they might feel or need, aren't necessarily there.

Speaker 1:

And so as they live out their life fully for the Lord, without the trappings, maybe that come with some of that. I had to wrestle with the implications of what that means and then now, how do I champion and show up for that person in light of these things?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I think that's a wonderful insight. I think if we're not careful, we'll fail to help people in those various circumstances, typical, normal circumstances to diminish the weight of God's power and glory to be enough for us right Enough is worth. Like we create a heart, like in your scenario, we just create a hardship. And don't get me wrong, it is hard Like it is, it is difficult, but but to but to say it as if man, this is going to be the hardest thing you ever done and your life's going to be miserable is to diminish are living by the Holy Spirit, living according to God's word. Man, god is enough, you know. And so if you don't look at people who were married for 20 years, sadly lost their spouse or something went down, but man, the same God that has sustaining them and keeping them content and with joy, is the same guy who keeps the person content, who never even gets with the person. So God is, god is enough, he really is enough, he's able.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, yeah Well, so what are some other insights you think like some advice and encouragements that you think might be helpful to um offer specifically to singles, if we're speaking to singles right now?

Speaker 2:

you know it's a lot like. I'm not a singles expert, but I was single for a long time. So I'm 48. I didn't get married until I was 35. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

So that's why this is such a I know this world.

Speaker 2:

I've been set up with God-loving ladies who had a face for radio. Yeah, you know what I'm saying I've been set up with.

Speaker 2:

You know you're in trouble. You know you're in trouble when you ask what she like and they say good heart, hard worker and whatever. They don't say nothing about their looks. You know you're in trouble. So I've kind of been through some of that, especially as a single pastor, you know, for several years. I think what I want to say to single people is this world is yours, and some of us married people have yet to realize that. And so how much more do we need you to step into who you are, who crisis calls you to be, what God has assigned you to do, and boldly, boldly, profess who God is in your own context. And I think eventually we're going to have to catch up with y'all, because the numbers say you're going to win.

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm saying so like the birth rate, me, like the birth rate is falling, not going up, and so I just want to encourage you to be you, um, and we'll eventually catch up. But my point is this we need more leaders that are single. Yeah, we need more worshipers that are single we need more folks doing outreach that are single.

Speaker 2:

We need more missionaries that are single. We need more pastors that are single. I've been praying about Lord. Will you show me a single fella at our church that's ready to be an elder? It only means something when we do it from the top.

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm saying and so I was a single elder at 30, 30, 31 years of age. In fact, I was single, I was an elder at 22. But anyways, the whole idea is that what better communicates our, our, our, our, our affirmation right, our licensing, our support, then singles being represented on every echelon of leadership you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:

yes, and copy and paste this. If you're a business leader, um, you need that perspective. Copy and paste this. If you're just running some kind of community drive or something you know, you need that person's voice and voices at the table I love that and it's not just a one-time voice or like a toss in the bucket. It's not just for singles week.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this is a. It's on their mind all the time, right. This is the life that they live, so their unique perspective is valued in every situation.

Speaker 2:

That's it. I had a moment yesterday. We've got these pastoral residents, like six in number, and these guys are all in their twenties, sharp kids. And you know, I'm writing this sermon and I'm just like man. Everything I'm writing right now sounds like 1993, because that's my decade, you know. And I call those guys and I say y'all, hey, y'all gotta, y'all gotta fix this sermon.

Speaker 2:

This sucks you know, most of these five of these guys are single, or four of them are single, and the perspective and the radiance and the perspective and the radiance and the fun and the creativity that came out of, of out of that, it really helped. The dead sermon you know what I'm saying. So, like copy and paste what I needed to do with some singles, with whatever you need to do with some singles, to bring their light to shine or whatever it is God's got you doing. All it's going to do is make it better. Wow, it's all it's going to do. Man, that's a word. All it's going to do is make it better.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's all it's going to do.

Speaker 1:

Man that's a word, yeah, I think another one, for singles too, is like, obviously we're talking, you know, don't buy the lies, you know, and a culture tends to spotlight pleasure through sexual sexual expression, but singleness is one of the opportunities to spotlight a greater spiritual connection to the expression of celibacy. Yes, and so I think that's a beautiful thing, cause, you know, in a hyper sexual, uh, sexually charged culture, you know they're going to bring that idea of like, well, we live this out, we, we highlight celibacy and the and that dedication to Christ and, um, you know, all the other things that come with that Right.

Speaker 2:

Sure, absolutely. Yeah, I think. I think there's there. I think we've created a framework, if we're not careful, where marriage is what shows us ultimate holiness? Yeah, right, and ultimately, how to journey with Jesus, yeah, not biblically, yeah, you know what I'm saying. So, like Abraham and Sarah's marriage wasn't that great, yeah, you know, say what you will. How dare you say that? Well, you know, like they literally brought in a side chick into the relationship. You know, I don't think the marriage was that strong. And so there's some things in that story of Abraham and Sarah, his wife, and Hagar, her handmaiden, that became a concubine of Abraham. There's some things about holiness and about serving God that Hagar showed us as a single gal that Sarah couldn't and refused to

Speaker 2:

as a single gal, that Sarah couldn't and refused to. And so, like I just you know, when you read your Bible, man, it seems like some of the greatest stars were not booed up, they just weren't, you know. So Paul was not booed up, and Elijah wasn't booed up. And if Jeremiah was booed up, man, she's a strong woman, but you know what I mean? It's just it's. God is everywhere, and whoever loves him, the Holy spirit, is on the inside of them, and we can learn from all sorts of perspectives.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, not a, not an either, or but a both, and Amen, that's well said.

Speaker 2:

You said it better.

Speaker 1:

No, I'd say a big one. That I'd love to say is fall in love with someone who has fallen in love with Jesus.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

That's if you're looking. Yes, that's a that's a big one, I think, for singles out there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and there's some married people listening who fell in love with somebody who don't love Jesus, and you love them, but you're like, uh, I wish you loved Jesus, I wish I could get another go at this, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Singles make that right decision. Well, that kind of jumps us into our next question. So often well-meaning married people say some of the dumbest things to single people, which we know. But what are some of the things that you think we should stop saying and start doing? Yeah, I love this.

Speaker 2:

So just married people. For single people in your life there's just we mean well, but we say dumb stuff and all the single people think you're dumb and they talk about you when you leave. So stop doing. I want to save married people here. So don't ask a single person. So when are you going to get married? Because it's just a dumb question. So you didn't know when you were going to get married, so quit asking them if they were going to get this a dumb question. Stop doing that. Here's number two one you are so amazing, how are you still single? Just dumb, that's unbiblical, it's dumb. First things first. I wouldn't ask nobody something. God wouldn't ask him. God would never come to one of his sons or daughters and say you are so amazing, why are you not single?

Speaker 1:

It's so stupid.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and here's the thing Married people act like they're amazing. Yeah, you know, I know thousands of married people. Not many of them are amazing. So quit acting like just because you get married, you become amazing.

Speaker 2:

Okay, here's one. You'll find somebody when you stop looking. It's the dumbest thing I ever heard. I'm 48 years old. Never in my whole life have I found anything when I stopped looking for it. And then some people will say, yeah, but sometimes I found something that I had forgotten about. Yeah, but you, I stopped looking for it. And then some people will say, yeah, but sometimes I found something that I had forgotten about. Yeah, but you were still looking for it. Like when you found it, you didn't say, no, I stopped looking for that. That's a dumb thing to say. And then here's the last one If you weren't so picky, you would have found somebody by now, and it's like so you would have found somebody by now and it's like so it's so dumb, like, how'd that work out for you?

Speaker 2:

You know, and some married people are listening wish they would have been more picky, because their pick is not the pick that they probably. Anyways, I'm going to leave it alone. But single people should be picky. You should get somebody that loves Jesus. You got to get somebody that got a job. You got to get somebody that got a job. You got to get somebody that got good sense. You got to get somebody that look good to you. You know, because you don't wake up to character. You don't Like, you don't. When I turn over and look at April, I don't say what a beautiful soul.

Speaker 1:

Well, that just enhances the beauty that is there, yeah. So anyways, yeah they get to be picky.

Speaker 2:

It's quit saying. It's just a dumb thing to say. You know like it's better to be alone and happy than coupled and miserable. It just is. So just stop. Anyway, I'm done. I'm going to get in enough trouble. No, it's fine. Send your emails to cjmcfadden at southwestchurchcom. We'll give you a generic email address at the end here. Okay, all right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'd say stop neglecting and minimizing singleness, as you've said. I think it makes a statement that they're somehow unseen, unwelcome, unequipped, unwanted or, like we said, even incomplete. All the things, all the uns, it's just um. It's so off putting, I think one, uh, when you know we view it in a certain fashion and like you, said stop introducing singles to unhealthy people. Yeah, it's so dumb.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, why would you do that? Yeah Well, summing to the full to God's glory, if you're single, be single to the full, to God's glory. And I think that can be kind of actualized in our hearts when you know, with this phraseology married people do married things, not single things. And single people should do single people, single things, not married things. So, if you're married, stop acting like you're single.

Speaker 2:

You know, like if I come to April, say, hey, babe, these dudes are all going to a bachelor party in Vegas. They want me to be designated drivers for four nights. Babe, are they from the church? No, babe, there's just some dudes that I've been hanging out with and playing golf with we're all going to make. That's a single thing and that's a single unsafe thing. And if I say that to April, it's going to be some furniture move at my house and there's too many married people doing single things. You know what I'm saying. And then same thing on the other foot, like sex is for the marriage covenant, same thing on the other foot like sex.

Speaker 2:

Is is for the marriage covenant, um, you know, um physicality in romance. Is is for the marriage moment, um paul says flee from fornication. It's the greek word pornea, word from which we derive our word porn.

Speaker 2:

It's any sexual immorality yeah and so there's a lot of single folks who, with with respect to their physicality, are still doing married things and I hate to use this word, but you know, god's not talking about intercourse, he's talking about any sexual immorality and so I think there's some guys and gals I know this was my story, by the way, I'm guilty of this, so I'm not let him with who was without sin, cast the first stone, but man touching and petting and necking, and y'all see what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 1:

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

But you breathe the Messiah relief because you didn't go all the way. God's saying that's what married people do and it'll eat away your soul and it will diminish that much more of the capacity you're going to be able to give your future spouse someday and I know that to be true as well. And so, um, there came a point with me and erica was dating. You know what I'm saying. I'll be honest man, you know a couple makeout sessions probably.

Speaker 2:

You know I was guilty and I just I remember having to say, hey, you what, I have not stewarded it, I need to. Hey, let's shake hands.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's high five, let's have some people go with us on our dates.

Speaker 2:

Like I really had to do that and thank the Holy spirit Cause I, I wanted, I wanted to, to give her myself, I wanted to give myself to me on our wedding night, which we did yeah dude, on wedding night, like I was nervous.

Speaker 2:

I was so nervous and that was the beauty of the night. Yeah, is that? I was nervous and giddy. We were both laughing, yeah, and giggling, uh. And on wedding night, I got this from a mentor on our wedding night, before we, you know, uh, we knelt down on our knees next to the bed and we pray to God. We give everything about our marriage to you, including this bed, and what happens with God? We do it to glorify you, bro. There's not much more beautiful than that in life, and so it's hard, but save yourself for that moment and it's worth it.

Speaker 2:

It is worth it.

Speaker 1:

And I think that probably set you up for some things you have today together.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, a thousand percent, a thousand percent, amen, that's well said.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Yeah, we know temptation is a human condition, it's not a marital status one. So I know you, I think like that was a, that was a big one. I really appreciate when you said don't marry people, don't do married things and the single people piece. And also I realized, even as I was writing this, I was like man, we can idolize. We idolize the things that we do have and we idolize the things that we don't have.

Speaker 2:

So I said you know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Like it doesn't so even when you're married, you're like man I wish, I wish, I wish I wasn't, I wish it was someone else, I wish it was. You know what I mean. Yeah, that's good, everyone, give yourselves full, wholly and completely as into the Lord you know and um, that's so good.

Speaker 2:

Single. Somewhere God is saying if you bring me into that, I'll help you. I'll give you new perspective. That's a good word, bro. That's well said.

Speaker 1:

So, um, as always, we hope these conversations are not only engaging but helpful. Uh, any resources that you think we can point people to that they might find beneficial?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we're going to put some stuff. I've preached a couple of sermons on this, so we're going to put that in the show notes or whatever. I feel. I feel, I feel, you know, I don't know, but I feel like there's a message I'm supposed to take around the country on some level. Um, I'm thinking about a book on singleness. Um, um, and we've got a cultivate series that we've done over the years. Cultivate is the name to our marriage ministry at Southwest. We're just going to give y'all some content to really check into and, um, we preach a message here at Southwest on singleness. Maybe two years ago, maybe three years ago, it kind of changed our church and singles were like, like they were like say it loud, I'm single and I'm proud. Like it changed our church and it also gave the rest of us perspective of how much more we need to open our ears and our hearts to what their voice has to say here at Southwest.

Speaker 1:

It was really cool. That's cool. Yeah, there's definitely apparent some ways that we could show up better, yes, and so I really appreciated that. For sure. Um, we'll include a whole bunch of stuff in the show notes so you can check them out. Yeah Uh, some articles, cool books and stuff from the gospel coalition too, as well as some obviously some sermons you've done, um, ricky.

Speaker 2:

Practice now what God's going to perfect later, you know loving others, respecting the image of God on every person, regardless of their station in life, and believing the good news that Jesus all by himself is enough for us. Married or single, as long as I got Jesus, I'm married to him and I'm good and I'm happy and I'm content, and that's the gospel.

Speaker 1:

And what he currently has for you is what he currently finds best for you. Amen, talk about it, preach it.

Speaker 2:

All right.

Speaker 1:

Well, there you have it, guys. Thanks for joining us on another episode of the other six days podcast. Be sure to hit that subscribe, follow, share and like, spread the word and, as always, take what you've heard and turn it into something.